5 Overreactions from the NBA’s First Week

I’m a big fan of overreactions that don’t hurt anyone.

Stumble a bit while walking? Yell at a tree for a minute.

Spill a bit of coffee on your shirt? Throw your entire outfit in the trash.

Miss a basketball shot? Punt the ball across the gym.

And now that we’re three days into the season, some overreactions are in order around the NBA’s first week.

1. The San Antonio Spurs will lose all 82 games

The Charlotte Hornets had a terrible offseason.

They had three players get arrested for offenses including domestic violence, drug trafficking, and a DUI.

Some of their key players got injured, including LaMelo “Big Baller Brand” Ball.

They hired a new head coach, who came into the situation, said, “You know what? I’m good,” and left. The Hornets instead re-hired a coach they fired four years ago.

They didn’t win a single preseason game.

And they just beat San Antonio by 27 points.

The Spurs aren’t even trying to win. They want that No. 1 pick.

2. The new Nets Big 3 is worse than the old one

Kevin Durant is still very good. Everyone else is questionable.

Ben Simmons hasn’t played basketball in a year, and his glorious return included four points, five rebounds, five assists, and six fouls.

His teammate Kyrie Irving said, “We need him out there,” in regards to Simmons fouling out. Irving perhaps forgot he missed nearly two-thirds of the season last year.

3. The NBA still hates the Kings

Ask any intense NBA fan what the biggest con job in league history has been, and they’ll probably point you to the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Sacramento Kings and the Los Angeles Lakers.

Particularly in Game 6 of that series, the Lakers shot about 874 free throws. Tim Donaghy, one of the officials in that series, later admitted to fixing the game.

Terence Davis had a wild putback dunk toward the end of Sacramento’s first game. And then got called for a technical foul for…flexing slightly? Absurd.

4. Offense has never been better (or defense has never been worse)

In the first 14 games of the season, every team scored at least 102 points.

We’re going to see absurd amounts of scoring this season. If you value defense, please avert your eyes.

5. Joel Embiid will severely injure at least four other players

Joel Embiid, who is seven feet tall and probably 300 pounds, has somehow learned to fall down to protect his joints.

I’m not sure who taught this man that slamming your hips and back into the ground is a good thing, but his flailing has already injured other players in the past.

Here he is tearing his own teammate’s ACL last year.

And here he is almost breaking an opponent’s arm in the first game of this season.

We’re going to see a lot of ouchies, and it’s going to be sad.