All-Star Weekend or All-Star Weakened?

The comedian Hannibal Buress has a great bit about bold predictions. It’s on one of his Netflix specials, but I don’t want you to dig through an entire show to find it.

Instead, you can just click here and fast-forward to 4:40.

If you’re rude and don’t want to support a podcast I put a lot of time and effort into, I’ll give you the general gist of things: People make outrageous predictions all the time and never get checked on them.

Well, we’re not doing that here. I want to publicly apologize for two of my pre-All-Star Game predictions.

First of all, I said Damian Lillard would get the lowest score in the Three-Point Contest. And then he went and won the entire thing. Oh, and he also ended the All-Star Game with a three-pointer.

Oops.

Secondly, I said Janelle Monae would be our Celebrity Game MVP. I forgot DK Metcalf played organized basketball before joining the NFL and cared WAY TOO MUCH about balling out during this meaningless exhibition game. He won it instead.

Double oops.

Though, to my credit, Janelle Monae was dressed like the super coolest person on the floor (and really, the entire weekend), so that counts for something.

By the way, did you see the ending to the Celebrity Game?

This basket didn’t count, but I’ve never seen such a thrilling finale.

One other highlight includes Richard Jefferson starting the game as a broadcaster before turning into an official and then finally a player. Truly a national treasure.

Mac McClung also introduced himself to the world, and it was all kinds of impressive. Dare we say the dunk contest is back?!

But what about the All-Star Game itself? The final score was 184-175. Jayson Tatum broke a record with 55 points. Defense was even more non-existent than usual.

The Elam ending is still cool. The fourth quarter is untimed, with the team ahead after three quarters needing to score 24 points to win. The losing team needs to score 24 points plus whatever the deficit is when the third quarter ends.

That’s a very nice tribute to Kobe Bryant and makes the fourth quarter the most thrilling quarter, as it should be.

But then you get things like this:

The play linked in the video above features LaMelo Ball taking at least five steps without a dribble before throwing an alley oop.

This wasn’t the only play like that. The refs let the guys do whatever they please out there. Yes, I know it’s an exhibition, but is it entertaining to watch elite players just kind of shoot around?

Even Kobe Bryant, the star whose name is honored through the new format of the All-Star Game, would agree.

“It used to be competitive,” Bryant said on the Knuckleheads podcast in 2019. “Fans wanna see the best pick-up game in the world.”

Now? “Guys play harder at a pick-up game in UCLA.”

That was true in 2019, and it’s only gotten worse in the subsequent years.

Maybe the NBA is waiting for a team to hit 200 points before overhauling the game. But something’s gotta give so the final event of All-Star Weekend can actually be a grand finale.

In the meantime, did you watch any of All-Star Weekend? Did you have a favorite moment? Reply to this email and let me know. Then go dunk a basketball over the moon in celebration.