Gaudy NBA Jerseys I’d Certainly Still Wear

When I was a kid, I wore a jersey every day.

This is not hyperbole. Throughout the entirety of elementary school, I would rock some kind of cotton and synthetic fibers blend.

It was usually a basketball jersey — I had one for every team — but occasionally, it would be of the NFL or MLB variety.

That means I’ve donned some pretty outrageous threads. But that was when I was like six to 10 years old. I didn’t have any sense of style back then.

Though if I’m truly being honest with myself, I’d put on any of these gaudy NBA jerseys today.

The Utah Jazz have an inaccurate name. Yes, it’s a carryover from the days they were in New Orleans, but there ain’t much jazz in Salt Lake City.

What there IS a lot of (at least in the state of Utah) is mountains.

That’s what these jerseys are supposed to signify. Although, the more I look at them, the more they remind me of the game Dig Dug. Tell me I’m wrong.

Luckily, Dig Dug is a great game, so it’s still a solid look.

I’ve never understood why a knight chess piece is synonymous with a part of a car, but I don’t need to understand a logo to appreciate it.

This is about as gaudy as it gets, and in the best news, the Pistons announced they were BRINGING THIS LOOK BACK for the coming year.

So, if, unlike me, you don’t already own a teal and white reversible Pistons jersey, you’re in luck and can pick one up.

The Pistons should also be pretty entertaining this year, too. Win-win!

At first glance, this just looks like a classic red and yellow on black design.

But the Hawks are doing a “carbon fiber” approach here, which simultaneously reminds me of both a honeycomb and the checkered flag of a race.

It’s probably less gaudy than everything else on this list, but it’s still a little ambitious, so I’m allowing it.

The NBA usually airs five games on Christmas Day. The action starts at noon Eastern (or a whopping 9 a.m. on the West Coast!) and continues all night.

We get a chance to see teams in primetime, and to celebrate, sometimes the NBA makes questionable choices.

These sleeved jerseys were among the oddities, but you know what? I kind of like ’em!

Sometimes you don’t want to show your full arms off. This is a more subtle way to express your fandom.

You know, as subtle as a giant angry bull head can be.

Wait, I HAVE worn this jersey as an adult as part of my “Office Power Forward Marcus Camby” costume.

What can I say? I’m not creative around Halloween.

Plus, this uni prominently features the Raptor, which means we get to bring up perhaps the greatest NBA gif ever.

Now, wear those gaudy NBA jerseys with pride!