Great Basketball Disguises

I’ve recently caught up on some episodes of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, and the episode with Aubrey Plaza featured a wild basketball story.

To summarize, Aubrey played in a basketball league with several other actresses and writers, but because there were so many famous people around, fans with signs and cameras started showing up.

Like many of us do, Aubrey wanted to leave work behind while on the court. So, she devised a plan to join another team.

To avoid drawing suspicion, she wore a disguise on the court. She says it’s a blonde wig. Matt Gourley says it’s a Don King wig.

I don’t know what to believe, but it did make me wonder about what good basketball disguises might entail.

Perhaps the most famous example is when Kyrie Irving and several other basketball players dressed up as old men in the Uncle Drew movie.

What started as a Pepsi commercial quickly turned into a global phenomenon. As it turns out, wearing prosthetics and graying your hair doesn’t impede you from dominating the court.

Another option is to don a big trenchcoat and stack three kids on top of each other inside of it.

Vincent Adultman did this on Bojack Horseman to great effect. Though we never saw him on the basketball court, he “did a business” and fooled just about everyone.

Alternatively, you could take inspiration from a movie character.

This Hulk cosplay costume only costs you $2,600 and you’ll be green and shirtless, with ripped pants. No one will have any idea who you are!

I also thought about one of those horse heads. With the long face and wide nose, you could do a good job creating some space as you squared up to the basket.

The big negative here is that it is very difficult to see. I received a horse head as a white elephant gift one year.

I’ve probably spent a collective three minutes wearing it. It’s heavy and constrictive.

I applaud the guy who managed to jog around the neighborhood wearing one of these during Hurricane Sandy.

In any case, I bet you could get creative.

So, I encourage you to bring a funny wig or a horse head the next time you hit the basketball court or even just the next time you attend a game.

Here’s Aubrey’s story below.