Issue 40: Proper Ways to Celebrate Impressive Plays

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One of the initial Crisp Bounce Pass issues looked at some of the greatest game-winning shot celebrations in basketball history.

A lot of things need to come together for a game-winning shot, of course. You have to run a play that results in you being able to shoot the ball. You need to get the ball off in time. Finally, you need to MAKE the shot. These celebrations are pretty corny if you airball a three at the buzzer.

But when all those elements collide and the ball splashes through the hoop? Well, then it’s time to GO WILD.

You know what? Let’s be real — your play doesn’t even have to be a game-winner. These celebrations will work for any kind of impressive play you pull off.

The Push-Up

You’re in the midst of an intense, physical game of basketball. Making an impressive play should be enough, but no, you’re not done yet.

Get on the floor and do push-ups as your teammates surround you and get excited. Just make sure nobody steps on your fingers, because that HURTS.

Kelly Oubre, formerly of the Phoenix Suns and now the Golden State Warriors, demonstrates how you can do this even after an opponent knocks you down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHQ9UTEpRs0

The Swimmer

You don’t need to be Michael Phelps to know how to mimic a swimming stroke. No one is going to judge you on accuracy or breathing techniques.

When you hit the game-winner or make a big play, have your teammates lift you up into the air and carry you across the court while you pretend to swim.

Freestyle is probably the easiest, but to really rub it in your opponent’s faces, switch between freestyle, backstroke, butterfly, and breaststroke while celebrating.

The preview of this video doesn’t indicate this, but there’s a pretty good way to pull off this celebration that’ll pop up if click through.

The Cereal Eater

Over the past few years, mimicking the act of eating cereal has become a fairly common celebration. I’ve only seen it after a crazy dunk or a string of three-pointers, though, never at the end of the game. So perhaps you SHOULD throw this one after a buzzer-beater to mix it up.

You certainly should not actually eat cereal this way, but for the sake of the celebration, it works. You hold the bowl in one hand while spooning cereal into your mouth with the other. Bonus points if you offer helpings to your teammates.

And because why not, here are my top five cereals, in no particular order. Feel free to reply to this email with your rankings.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch — Very tasty, but why are they always eating each other in the commercials?
Reese’s Puffs — Reese’s are the best candy, so you can’t go wrong with them in cereal form.
Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds — Give me that protein!
Crispix — I’ve always been impressed with the multicolored hexagons. Wheat on one side and corn on the other…it’s like magic!
Wheat/Rice Chex — This borders on being “too healthy” cereal, but I don’t care. These are great on their own or with a lil’ fruit thrown in.

The Crisp Bounce Pass Holiday Corner

Perhaps you’re like me and didn’t quite realize we’re already a week into December. And maybe, also like me, you’re scrambling for some last-minute gift ideas.

Well, I’ve got you covered. For the rest of the month, this section will provide a pair of hoops-themed gift ideas for your enjoyment.

Grab them as a gift for someone else or snag ’em for yourself. And if you have any must-have suggestions, send them my way!

Basketball (And Other Things) by Shea Serrano

If you are a fan of Crisp Bounce Pass, you will most certainly enjoy Basketball (And Other Things). Shea Serrano is someone I look up to and have regularly referenced things from this book.

Shea asks questions you never knew you needed the answers to. For example, which dunks are in the Disrespectful Dunks Hall of Fame? Or how would players’ legacies change if they had different names? That chapter turns into a movie script for Death Hammer 2: Hammergeddon, and the whole thing is a magical ride.

Die-hard hoops fans will enjoy some of the more obscure references in here, but I think everyone can be a fan of figuring out which NBA players’ group you’d join if The Purge began tonight.

Basketball Wastebasket from Uncommon Goods

When you want to splash your trash, it’s hard to beat a depository that is shaped like a basket. I suppose most wastebaskets are shaped like basketball baskets, but very few come with their own backboard, like this one does.

Is this an outrageously expensive garbage can? You betcha. But for a baller, few things beat the thrill of sinking a jumper into the rubbish bin. The backboard just gives us even more fun angles to play with, and that’s a great feeling.

That’s all ’til next time. Thanks for reading!

Joey

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