No, I Don’t Want a High-Five

After last week, I’ve received some very kind messages checking in on my well-being. Those are super appreciated and I’m happy to report I’m feeling better today.

However, there’s still a little bit of that less-than-stellar malaise going on (I think the scientific term is “blah-ness”), which is a fitting topic for today’s issue.

Professional athletes are built differently than we are. There’s a reason why, like, .001% of high school athletes go on to play professionally somewhere.

It takes a different mindset. A different work ethic. A bunch of luck. Ending up in the right situation. A ton of other variables.

That’s why it’s highly enjoyable to see athletes failing in the same way you or I might.

Who among us hasn’t reached out for a high-five or some other form of praise, only to be shunned by the person we’re looking to bond with?

It happens pretty regularly among players, and especially among players and fans. And thankfully the YouTube account “Funny NBA” has us covered with a montage of high-five fails.

A few notable things to watch for:

• Blake Griffin is featured in here, a lot. It doesn’t matter if he’s playing in the game or sitting on the bench in street clothes, none of his teammates want to give him a high-five. The same is true for his former teammate DeAndre Jordan.
• The back-to-back moments starting at 2:55 might be my favorite of the whole video. Rajon Rondo tries to high-five an opponent (who swiftly avoids him), and then a staff attendee fakes out Jose Calderon, who turns around and yells “again?!” I love that this is a recurring bit and I hope it happens a lot more than we see on camera.
• Around the 5:30 mark, DeMar DeRozan shoots a technical free-throw. There is no one else at the line. Yet, he still pretends to high-five two imaginary people before ignoring his real-life teammate Jonas Valanciunas.
• At 6:50, former Washington Wizards coach Scott Brooks holds his fist up for nearly ten seconds. Players walk by him and then back the other direction. Nary a one rubs fists. Brooks looks HIGHLY forlorn.
• The reactions of people snubbed for a high-five vary wildly. Some stare, slack-jawed, wondering how they could be spurned like that. Others high-five themselves. A few others act like they’re swatting a fly or wafting a bad smell away. All are acceptable.

Check out the video below or right here. What’s your favorite high-five fail?

Did you know I wrote a book? You can pick up your copy right here.