The First Week of College Basketball is Bananas

The college basketball season tipped off this week. While 98% of America only tunes in during March Madness, I find basketball’s first week so intriguing.

Most teams are full of players who are 18 to 22 years old. I don’t know about you, but when I was 18 to 22 years old, I was either COMPLETELY LOCKED IN to whatever I was doing or TOTALLY CHECKED OUT. There was no in between.

A lot of these players are the same way. And so you get a fabulous amount of variation in terms of the competitiveness of these games.

Let’s explore some of the more bonkers results from this week.

Western Illinois and its mean-looking bulldog…er, leatherneck won by 57 points, scoring more than double its hapless opponent in Rockford.

Sacred Heart beat Hartford. That’s fun wordplay.

A look at the matchup with the most geographical distance between the two schools: Gonzaga (in Spokane, Wash.) and North Florida (in Jacksonville, Fla.). The cities are separated by 2,704 miles. Gonzaga won by a lot.

Detroit Mercy showed no mercy to Rochester University in walloping them 93-65. But Mercer had a less stellar result, losing 77-75 to the East Carolina Pirates. Arrrr.

Did you know Duquense is pronounced “do-cane”? I thought it was “do-kez-knee” for the longest time. Anyway, they won by 28 points in their first game.

TCU was favored by 33.5 points over Arkansas Pine-Bluff. At one point, TCU was down 29-9. They came back for a one-point victory, but my goodness was it close. This was the night before TCU appeared in the latest college football playoff rankings.

A couple of days later, Arkansas Pine-Bluff beat a school called Champion Christian College—though it sounds made up, I assure you this is a real school—by 32 points.

One of the schools closest in proximity to me, Texas, demolished Houston Christian by a final of 82-31. Houston Christian didn’t score for the first 6:43 of the game, and went more than nine minutes without a field goal in the second half.

Albany beat Immaculata 74-47. That’s not SUCH a lopsided game, but it’s a palindrome, so I like it. Also, try saying “Immaculata.” It’s delightful.

Meanwhile, Florida State lost 83-74 to a school whose logo is a hat.

To be fair, it IS a stylish hat. Hope your weekend is just as stylish.