Are You Hungry? Grab a Dunk

In the week following the Super Bowl, I’ve witnessed a lot of chatter about different commercials that aired during the game.

We saw Peyton Manning make about 78 separate appearances (here’s my favorite). LeBron James was in a cryptocurrency commercial. The Sopranos made a nice little comeback in the name of electric vehicles. Larry David was himself, also in a crypto ad.

In fact, I’ve seen multiple people and publications claim the Coinbase ad—which was literally a silent QR code bouncing around a screen, like an old DVD screensaver—was the best of the Super Bowl. I’m not linking it because I don’t want to waste your time.

If we’re at the point where that’s the “best” of anything, then we might as well just call it a day and pack up humanity.

HOWEVER, watching all of these commercials made me nostalgic for a particular favorite of mine. It’s 13 years old but happens to involve a frequent Super Bowl participant (Snickers) and someone who never won a championship (Patrick Ewing).

Unlike the Coinbase commercial, something actually happens in this one. In fact, a LOT goes on in just 15 seconds.

We go from our protagonist opening up a Snickers in a way I have never seen before. He rips off half the packaging in one fell swoop.

I have tried opening a Snickers in the same fashion every single time I’ve had a Snickers bar in my possession. I’m convinced it can’t be done. This man, who we’ll later learn is named Ryan, might be a wizard.

Then Patrick Ewing shows up. Only it’s not Patrick Ewing when a Snickers is involved. It’s Patrick Chewing. He greets Ryan pleasantly enough, but the affection is short-lived before he ferociously dunks on him.

The actual dialogue of this commercial features five words (six, if you count a scream):


“What’s up, Ryan?”


A mere five words, but a legacy nonetheless. Let’s all strive for such efficiency.