Issue 92: Goofy Basketball Shirts We All Should Probably Buy

As many companies turned to working from home during the pandemic, dress codes became a little laxer.

If you were logging on from, say, your kitchen or bedroom, it seemed silly to put on a full suit or fancy dress.

Instead, you could wear something more casual — and dare I say, more t-shirty?

And what better way to show off your basketball and/or pop culture fandom than with one of these five threads?

Teenage Mutant Founding Father

I have a plethora of shirts from Homage, a delightful company that specializes in retro apparel. I’ve got some basketball tees (such as this Damian Lillard rock star one), but also have let things like this Legends of the Hidden Temple shirt grace my figure, too.

Somewhat recently, Homage released a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles basketball line of clothing. You’ll find your favorite shelled pals donning all sorts of accouterments and representing different teams.

For my money, though, nothing beats Raphael in Benjamin Franklin gear. I’m not a Philadelphia 76ers fan, but I would support a turtle with such graceful style, even if he does appear to be committing a carrying violation on this tee.

Your Mom Called

If you attended any level of elementary school, you likely witnessed a “yo mama” joke. Perhaps you even participated in one yourself.

I wasn’t as big a fan of those, but I did enjoy a good “X called” comment. “1975 called, they want their disco shoes back,” or “1929 called, they’d like their thriving economy back,” etc. etc.

This shirt delivers a little bit of a combo of both. It’s obviously great to wear during a basketball game, but you could also wear it while out on the town, perhaps tossing it on after defeating someone at Pop-a-Shot.

And really, you can extend this meaning for any kind of “game,” such as the video or board variety.

Touchdown!

I used to play flag football with a guy that did not appear to be very good at football. He did not look like he’d be very fast, strong, or have solid hands.

And to be fair, he was more comfortable around board games, but he could still make a key play or two.

However, the things he said INFURIATED other people. What were these horrible, disgusting things?

Simple: he just referred to football as “sportsball” and would claim he scored a goal or hit a home run whenever he caught a touchdown pass. The other team hated it more than any kind of actual trash talk or anything offensive.

That’s what this shirt reminds me of — the rage that you can introduce to someone when you say something that’s incorrect. And that’s a pretty special talent.

Classy Until Tipoff

So rarely has a shirt encapsulated my essence. You’ve been getting these emails for a while now, and I’m sure you’d agree that, at least a quarter of the time, I’m charming and provide an enjoyable aura.

Had I been sending these emails while in the middle of a basketball game, though? They’d be a lot less cool. I enjoy pushing a button or two when I’m on the court.

My rec league teammate Randy G. likes to say I’m “living rent-free” inside the heads of one of our opponents. I think that’s fitting. Much like this t-shirt would fit nicely.