The NBA regular season officially tips off next week. But all we’ve been hearing about this month is Draymond Green punching his teammate Jordan Poole in practice.
I didn’t want to talk about it, but I watched nearly a full quarter of the Thursday Night Football game that was 3-0 at halftime and 12-7 when the game ended.
And that broke my spirit, so here we are.
At first, the Warriors tried to downplay the incident. Steve Kerr — who was notably punched by Michael Jordan during a Chicago Bulls practice — initially seemed more upset that the video got leaked before backtracking on those comments.
Meanwhile, Draymond Green spoke about his looming contract extension. He used the word “linger” as frequently as The Zombies in the song “Linger.”
A quick excerpt:
“I don’t like to let contract drama linger. Especially when it’s involving me. … If you’re going to let a contract situation linger, then you better be damn sure that you’re willing to handle all the effects of a contract lingering, that it can have on a team.”
I know this is not what Draymond Green meant, but it’s kind of goofy to read into this as him saying he’s going to punch people until he signs a contract extension.
That’s a very Steven Seagal way to handle things.
The Warriors did impose a fine on Green, but he won’t miss any time on the court.
Notable Punches in NBA History
Perhaps this won’t surprise you, but this situation is not the first time someone has thrown a punch during a basketball practice or game.
There’s the aforementioned Jordan and Kerr incident, but there was also the time in 1977 when Kermit Washington saw Rudy Tomjanovich running toward him out of the corner of his eye and reacted with a punch so severe it knocked Tomjanovich out, fractured his skull, and broke his nose and jaw.
After some wrestling on the basketball court during a 2006 Knicks and Nuggets game, Carmelo Anthony punched Jared Jeffries so loudly that you could hear it underneath the basket microphone.
Jeffries then needed to be restrained by about 14 different people and nearly ran completely out of his clothes trying to chase Anthony down.
Jermaine O’Neal almost actually killed a man during the Malice at the Palace. Luckily for everyone, he slipped on the court while he was delivering this Falcon Punch.
And let’s not forget the time Carlos Boozer celebrated a made basket with a fist-pump-turned-groin-shot:
Heck, even I had someone throw a punch at me during a pickup basketball game in college. Thankfully, he missed.
Less thankfully, the gym attendant seemed unconcerned with what had just transpired. She refused to kick him out because “he wasn’t a student.”
I was thrilled to learn random people could just come into our school gym!
There’s a lesson from all of these punches in NBA history, and it’s don’t punch people. Or things, really. It only hurts your hand, and you never come out on the winning side.
If you ever feel an urge to use your fists, I’d recommend yodeling loudly instead. It’s just as impactful, and as far as I know, no one’s ever been punished for yodeling.